


The shadow of my heart

by Galaxy_Angst



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur dosen't remain a child throughout, Caring Merlin (Merlin), Creature Arthur Pendragon, Creature Fic, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up Together, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Merlin dosen't physically age, Merlin looks after Arthur as a child, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin, Shapeshifting, Slow Build, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22622170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxy_Angst/pseuds/Galaxy_Angst
Summary: When Arthur Pendragon was born his mother cried, and then, she died. Uther is without someone to care for his infant son, until a young man by the name, Merlin, appeared. An apparent friend to Gaius, he accepts the stranger into Camelot and appoints him as carer of his child. 8 years later, Arthur causes his caretaker plenty of trouble, as much as it irritates him, Merlin finds that he couldn't love the boy any less for it. With each day that passed, Arthur found himself becoming more and more infatuated by the very man that cared for him - raised him; he would give him the entire world if only he asked with all the childishness that a boy-prince could possess. But growing up wasn't easy, particularly when your father was the King of Camelot and Uther Pendragon.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 147





	1. Arthur Pendragon

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be clear there is NO paedophilia at all in this fic.  
> Merlin is immortal, he looks like he is 23 and he is still a sorcerer.  
> Arthur is a child at the start, a baby, but he grows throughout the fic, the romance between the two with begin when Arthur is an adult (In the UK we are considered adults at the age of 18, but Arthur will begin making more forward moves when he is 20 or something)  
> Also, Merlin is not a family figure to Arthur, so no weird ass incest. It is Merlin's job to practically help raise Arthur, but it is in no way incest, think of it like Merlin is his live-in nanny or something. 
> 
> As for the creature Arthur tag... You'll find out somewhat quickly ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur Pendragon is placed into Merlin's care, and while together he learns something about the infant prince...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this ^^' starting things isn't always my strong point, the next chapters are when the story really will kick off, thank you were giving this a chance!

**•The past•**

  
It had been a stormy night, once Arthur Pendragon was birthed into the world, pushed out of the womb so violently. His father, Uther Pendragon, had been determined to witness the event. Igraine’s willpower had continued to dwindle with each push and contraction, life had been slowly loosing her with each second. Midwives had assisted her, although with great difficulty, their king had continued to grow anxious and impatient by the minute.  
  


After the final push, Igraine had finally collapsed against her bed, drawing in a shaky breath. Thighs twitching uncomfortably, Uther had peeked over the shoulder of a midwife glimpsing the sight of his child. Once the baby had been cleaned and separated from his mother’s umbilical cord; he was carefully passed into her weakened arms. She had laid against the mattress with her baby pressed against her chest, Uther had smiled.   
  


“Congratulations, Sire. You have a healthy son!” One of the midwives had cried, Uther sighed in relief.   
  


“Did you hear that, Igraine? A boy, a healthy son.” Uther’s voice had been filled with joy, pure, genuine happiness.   
  


Igraine had limply lowered her chin to peer down at the baby, a pink little thing that wriggled and cooed quietly. Brushing a hand over his delicate small head; her fingers stopped touching him abruptly, blood had gathered around her thighs dripping from her abused genitalia. She had looked at him then, her son, whom she had bled for, and cried, then she died. 

The announcement of her death struck the hearts of all in Camelot. But none grieved more than the king, an heir he had gained at the cost of his beloved wife, grief swarmed him viscously. Without his wife; his son was without a mother to fuss over him, the midwives had offered to nurse him, Uther had accepted the proposition. The entire time his son fed from women he didn't have any connection to, Uther thought of Igraine who wouldn't ever be able to feed him.

A day passed after the birth, a stranger had appeared dressed quite lightly and bearing condolences for the loss of their queen. ”Who are you? Why have you come here?” Uther had inquired, staring at the dark blue eyes of the strange traveller. 

”My name is Merlin, your majesty. I’m a friend of your court physician, Gaius, I came here to Camelot for a fresh start.” The strange man, Merlin, spoke a little too casually for Uther’s liking, but he let it slide.

Giving him another once over, he scrutinized the sight of Merlin. Then seemingly sated he spoke again, ”Tell me, Merlin, how do you manage children?” Uther stared at him steadily, waiting for a response with what little patience he had. 

Startled, Merlin had opened and closed his mouth then took a moment to think. ”I don’t have any children, sire, and I don't plan to have any in the future. Although, I have looked after some of the younger children from my village.” He finished a little awkwardly, daring to rub the back of his neck before settling both hands behind his back. 

After listening to Merlin’s statement, the king smiled hesitantly, he stood up from his throne earning an alarmed expression from the man. He approached him in a confident stride, looking at his startled face, then rested a hand on his left shoulder, ”You shall be my son’s caretaker, such a position is a great bestowment. Gaius will show you to his room, I trust you will look after him well.” Uther watched as he nodded his head frantically, shock evident in his posture. 

Gaius tapped Merlin on the arm and then took his young friend to the prince’s room. ”What is the prince’s name, Gaius?” he whispered as soon as they were out of earshot of servants. The older man had been shaking his head almost the whole way up to the prince’s chambers, ”His name is Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, you really came at the wrong time.” 

Merlin had shrugged his shoulders, ”I think I’m here at the right time actually.” He smiled sheepishly at his past mentor, Gaius glared at him suspiciously, ”Merlin, the queen has just died. The boy is without a mother to care for him!” he murmured, leading his companion down yet another corridor and up a set of stairs.

”I know, I know, but if he really needs a mother’s touch then why appoint me as her stand-in?” Glancing over at Gaius had revealed no deep secret to him, instead, he appeared troubled, ”Desperate times call for desperate measures, for the king to make you the carer of his only child and heir - well he really must be desperate.” Merlin had frowned, twisting his lips unhappily.

When they had finally had reached Arthur’s chambers, which were much too large for a baby, Merlin approached the cradle slowly. Gaius crossed his arms keeping guard by the door, the midwives took notice and swiftly left the room, Merlin spared them little attention. 

His focus had zeroed in on that small cradle, in his experience babies were loud and whiney things. But not a single peep came from the prince, for a moment he wondered if they were asleep. He had peered over the cradle, finding the infant wrapped in white and red blankets. Small feet peeking out from where the materials separated, tiny arms rested beside his head, wide blue eyes curiously peered up at him.

”Is he always like this?” Merlin asked, looking over his shoulder with an almost disbelieving expression. 

”What? A baby?” Gaius raised an eyebrow, scrutinizing Merlin similarly to how the king had done. 

Rolling his eyes, Merlin looked back down at the newborn laying quietly amongst the blankets. ”No, I mean is he always this quiet?” There had been silence for a moment, until Gaius made a noise of consideration, ”From my understanding, Arthur has made little noise since his mother passed. Uther isn't worried, but I do find it a bit odd for a baby to be so quiet, perhaps we were blessed.” Gaius said nonchalantly, not feeling entirely confident about his own claim. 

Merlin continued to look at the baby, and they started back. It must have been an odd sight to Gaius. After all, how much fascination could be conjured by a baby?

“He’s only a day old you say?” At that question Gaius had gave a simple, “Yes.” then excused himself from the room to speak to the midwives outside.

Once Gaius had left, Arthur began to wriggle in his horde of blankets, a smile had made its way to Merlin’s lips at the sight. Tentatively he reached out with a finger and brushed the light blonde wisps of hair out of the way of his forehead to prevent them from sticking to his skin. The prince didn’t have much hair at the moment but the little wisps did something for the little guy, he poked at his tiny hands and watched them flex under the touch.   
  
Giving a quick glance over his shoulder, Merlin had reached inside the cradle with both hands and carefully taken hold of the infant prince. Raising him up and out of his prison and into his arms; he fit perfectly into place and stared up at him with those light blue peepers. Merlin had known then that there was something _special_ about him; he just wouldn’t find out how special until months later. 

  
————————————————————-

**•Present day•**

“Arthur, Arthur, come on wake up sleepy-head.” Merlin smiled down at the 6-month-old baby blinking up sleepily from his cradle. 

Light blue eyes smiling with his smallmouth that was drawn into a gummy smile. The young prince had yet to gain a single tooth, Gaius was becoming concerned. Merlin didn't feel too worried about it, from his experiences in his village it was common for some babies to not grow teeth until their first birthday! He supposed that Arthur was the same. 

Small arms reached up and waited to be picked up, already expecting things as a young prince would, Merlin laughed quietly. Reaching into the crib for the infant he raised him up into the air, Arthur made soft gurgling noises as a sign of his contentment. It was something that nobody else got from him, not even the midwives who nursed him. Nobody except Merlin managed to gain a single peep from Arthur Pendragon, for a baby he rarely smiled at anyone, except for Merlin.   
  


It wasn't necessarily worrying to the court, the majority viewed it as a sign of attachment and an adorable phase. Even Merlin himself thought that way, but even as a baby Arthur _knew_ ; he knew just as his mother had known who was _best suited_ for them.  
  


Taking care of a baby wasn't easy, even when you’re considered their favourite person, no matter what, Arthur despised baths! It was wet and icky not to mention wobbly, without having Merlin there to support him he would surely fall over. Gently pushing a small piece of cloth across a tiny arm, Merlin snorted when a small spray of water hit his face. 

”Arthur, please don’t splash in the tub, we don't have time to play. You're going to spend some time in court today with your father, isn't that exciting! You get to spend time with him after so long.” Merlin knew that Arthur didn't understand him, the word ’father’ he could connect somewhat with Uther, but the rest of it wasn't translated. Apart from the word _’play’_ and so he continued to splash the water with his free arm, Merlin spluttered laughing openly at the infant's antics. 

After the messy bath, Merlin securely carried Arthur in his arms, occasionally pulling a silly face to make him smile. Together they made it to the courtroom, the majority of the court had already settled, all eyes turned to them. Uther smiled from his throne, gesturing for Merlin to continue towards him, so he did with his nerves pushed to the back of his mind. 

A cradle had been placed to Uther’s left, standing before the king, at last, Merlin passed Arthur tentatively over. The event went smoothly, Uther made a speech or so about Camelot and then the feast began properly, at one point Uther picked Arthur up, showing him off to others. Not a single beginning of a smile made its way to the prince’s face, he watched those around him almost blankly, unnervingly. It was typical behaviour of a baby with no interest in what was occurring around them, Uther excused it. 

It was at times like those that Merlin was particularly glad to be Arthur’s caretaker. Watching the king excuse a baby’s naturally uninterested behaviour in court events rubbed him the wrong way. As his caretaker he could help raise Arthur to know his worth. Smiling into his goblet, Gaius eyed him from across the hall and gave him a curt nod.

Once the banquet was over and done with, Uther left for his chambers and the nobles followed his example. Merlin took a rather grumpy Arthur back to his chamber, hastily yet carefully he dressed the infant for bed. Throughout the process, he wriggled defiantly, wide bright blue eyes staring up at him.

Merlin looked at him sweetly, tugging his little arms through the holes where they were meant to pass through. Ensuring that when he brought his fragile head through the final gap he didn't accidentally hurt him. After he had managed to successfully dress him he watched as he wiggled his feet around, as though he was dancing. It didn't fail to get a chuckle out of him, Arthur gurgled happily and then reached out expectedly. 

”You’re trying to _copy_ the baron's dance moves, aren't you? You’re doing a good job if it!” Picking him up into his arms he felt his heart melt when Arthur snuggled close for extra security. 

Moving across the chamber towards the cradle, Arthur was laid down on his white blanket, wrapped up with it loosely. The same was done with the red one and then with a gentle poke at a pink cheek, Merlin bid him goodnight. 

”Sleep tight, Arthur.” He murmured softly, observing his inquiring expression, it looked so odd on a baby. Those light blue eyes swirled with light, a certain darkness bled though like a pool of ink. 

Merlin’s eyes widened with alarm, he watched those unnatural eyes swim with darkness. Strangely enough, there was no ill intent, Merlin felt absolutely no malicious intentions at all. He continued to observe until Arthur’s eyes regained their previous form. He gurgled once again, a gummy smile spread across his face, Merlin smiled bewilderedly in response. It was at that moment he realised what was _special_ about Arthur Pendragon.

**—————————————————————**

After the incident, Arthur continued to surprise him with his eyes swimming with black pools of ink, and with something far more - _freakish_. 

It was small things at first, one of his smaller toes would appear longer than the other ones, other times the blonde wisps of his hair seemed to float airily around his head. Then occasionally Arthur's leg would seem longer than the other one or an ear would appear swollen, rubbing his eyes to clear his mind always worked to get his mind to see sense , but he still wondered about it. For a little while Merlin debated letting Gaius know about the strange happenings, yet one look at Arthur's pink face and his gummy smile and he knew that he wouldn't - that he _couldn't_. Besides it wasn't anything severe, simple minor instances that surely could be overlooked, the question that needed answering was _why and how_ Arthur was capable of those things; it couldn't be related to Uther because of his distrust towards magic. The dislike for it grew within the man each and everyday, Merlin feared that he was up to something and that _something_ would result in misfortune for magic users, call it a sixth sense - _a warning_ that could be felt in his very bones. Of course there was no proof to support his claim, not to mention he had a responsibility, someone that relied on him for everything, and so he ignored the feeling and fought against invasive thoughts. 

The days that followed after that were filled with bloodshed and flames, broken families and shattered friendships, Uther ordered his men to set out and arrest every sorcerer and sorceress in Camelot and threw his friend, Nimueh, from court. That was that terrible foreboding that had lingered in his very being, warning him of the deaths of hundreds of innocents, during that time many pyres were created and lit by hate filled flames while the executioner grinned with glee as he frequently sharpened his tools. Merlin and Arthur were the only ones allowed to be excused from witnessing the murders, while many screamed in agony, Merlin cradled Arthur close to his chest crying softly as screams of terror reached their ears. Arthur would watch him, observe his tear stained face with open wonder, unusually silent in his carer's presence, Merlin dared himself to look up and face the small babe that gradually made himself comfortable in his heart. Arthur was unnaturally still, showing no sign of moving any time soon as he continued to stare at Merlin's tear stained face, cheeks pink from strain and eyes red from crying. 

Slowly, very slowly; his small face began to scrunch up, bright blue eyes appeared to squint for a moment, small wet tears began to gather and cascaded down his pink chubby cheeks. A small cry irrupted from his throat; it was the first time that Merlin had ever seen Arthur cry, after a moment or so the cries died out and the tears came to a halt. Arthur sniffed quietly then fixed his attention upon his carer once again, a gummy smile spread across his face, for whatever reason Arthur was happy with himself, after a moments thought - it finally hit him. Arthur had imitated him! Observed what he had been doing and then sought for the same reaction in himself; it wasn't essentially normal behaviour from a baby, while they did learn from others they certainly didn't observe and then mimic the emotion that was expressed and then smile about it! Those blue eyes began to change once the revelation occurred to him, black ink pools mingled with light blue, Arthur was _certainly_ _not_ human - that much was obvious, but what was he then?

Two magical beings came to mind, the first was a changeling and the second was a shapeshifter. The two creatures seemed like the only possible fits, while he pondered over what he might be and tried to ignore the cries from outside the castle, Arthur had snuggled against his chest making soft cooing noises from the back of his throat. Merlin wrapped his arms gently across his fragile body making sure that he didn't trap him too much; if Arthur was a changeling the signs would be different and there were little of those signs present in the young prince. Peeking down at the gurgling blonde he noticed that a small hand had taken hold of his shirt, what stuck out most was the length of the hand, while the fingers were partially hidden in the fabric they didn't feel as small as before and upon close examination of his palm, he noticed that it was longer than before.

A soft gurgle broke his focus and immediately his eyes drifted to Arthur's smiling face, those eyes continued to remain as dark ink pools, a particularly loud scream reached their earshot and he flinched, instinctively bringing Arthur closer against his chest. In the position they were in Merlin couldn't see his face anymore, but he was sure that Arthur's overjoyed gummy grin remained, " Don't worry, Arthur, I will protect you." Merlin sniffled, pressing his lips to the top of the wispy blonde's head, Arthur was a baby no matter what he turned out to be - innocent by birth and peaceful _by choice_ just as humans were, Merlin knew that he would _always_ protect him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, thank you for reading chapter 1, I hope it was somewhat likeable. Let me know what you guys think, leave a comment, support is much appreciated and it keeps the story going (a car cannot run without fuel, so a writer cannot write for long without feedback from their readers) I tried my best to begin the story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter since I can really stretch the time out more then. The age jumps won't be brief don't worry, just now and then to keep up with the plot. 
> 
> Hope you have a nice apocalypse - Sirius xx


	2. Oddities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur is 7 years old. Uther reveals that he has taken someone in as his ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It has been a while ^^' Hopefully this chapter will make up for some lost time. 
> 
> Just a warning, this is where things start to get darker. There is minor elements of child abuse from minor characters and implied bodily harm (towards Arthur) and there are implications of toxic christianity involved, please read at your own risk. 'Happy' reading and please comment your thoughts and feelings about this chapter - Galaxy_Angst

Merlin wasn't dull, he did not lack imagination nor a sense of humor. He did lack a double though. If he had a doppelganger then it would make life much easier. Arthur could be kept within sight and all his chores could be completed. Unfortunately he didn't have the capability to create a copy of himself, despite being the most powerful sorcerer known to humankind. 

It seemed that as soon as the young prince had awoken to his 7th birthday there had been a change, a certain something that he had missed. There must have been! How could Arthur go from a reserved but exceptionally pleasant child to posing as a mischievous rascal? It didn't make any sense whatsoever. Uther had been pleased with the apparent change in behavior, as were the court. Merlin couldn't find an inch of himself that agreed however, specifically because it was him that had to bundle the stir crazed child into bed every night.

As well as being in charge of putting Arthur to bed, serving food was also something he often performed. With the amount of food the young boy ate on a daily basis it was a concern considering the impact it had on his weight. Well, at least in the minds of those that didn't know any better. "He must have been gifted with his mothers _fast metabolism_ , good for digestion and growth. Nothing to worry about, Merlin." Gaius didn't deem there to be anything out of sorts, what he had mentioned about Ygraine made it apparent to Merlin that Arthur had taken after his late mother in more ways than just "fast metabolism".

Ygraine had always appeared the same, never did she outgrow her dresses, nor did she ever gain any blemishes, or so Merlin had been told. There wasn't a single doubt that Arthur had taken after her and Merlin wasn't so confident that it was a good thing, without Ygraine there was nobody that he could turn to with all of the questions that he wanted answering.

He supposed that as long as he could raise Arthur to appear as 'normal' and unproblematic as possible that in the end getting answers wouldn't matter too much. 

It was early in the afternoon, Merlin had yet to fully dress the energetic child for the day. He was far too busy making a mess of his chambers that Merlin then needed to clean up after him, Arthur managed to turn his room into a pigsty with minimal effort, he was naturally messy and so naturally Merlin got better at cleaning. Tidying up clothes, putting away toys, mopping the floor, arranging the bed, fixing Arthur's hair, removing rubbish and those were only a small part of what he was required to carry out, but by the next day it would be repeated all over again. 

"Merlin, come play with me!" Arthur's soft boyish voice called out for him from where he had hidden himself underneath his bed. Merlin couldn't help but smile at that; he wasn't ever going to let Arthur live days like these down. 

Exhaling a sigh of mock contemplation, tapping his fingers against the wooden doorframe he was leaning against, "I don't know where you are, Arthur. You've hidden yourself far too well!" Still smiling despite the slow but gradual growth of fatigue; he moved quietly towards the large bed decorated with red quits and listened. 

Arthur figured himself to be rather clever, much like most children. He only hoped it wouldn't grow into arrogance later in life, Uther was the only arrogant royal Camelot could handle. Merlin had not worked out how he was supposed to hide his identity as a sorcerer for much longer; he deemed himself lucky that children didn't judge nor question things that they weren't taught to discriminate against. 

Arthur had witnessed Merlin using magic for little things, such as removing stains and heating the tub to an appropriate temperature with a flick of his hand. If magic had any hope of being welcomed into Camelot again - a chance for peace, then its only hope was for Arthur to grow up without malice against magic.

Merlin kneeled on the hard floor in front of the bed, for a moment he waited and listened to the muffled laugh coming from behind the overhanging quilt. Slowly he reached out with a shaking hand and then he pounced! Yelling out a battle cry as he felt around for Arthur's huddled form, after a few short moments of assumed victory his smile melted away. Leaning down close to the floor to get a better look he peeked past the overhanging quilts, a shock of horror overwhelmed him once he saw that Arthur wasn't there. 

'But I heard him! I was _sure_ that he had been here.' Merlin felt a small prickle of panic in chest, he had _sensed_ him there. Where was he hiding? 

"I got you!" Arthur's shrill cry of victory came from behind him, Merlin had not heard the boy _behind_ him earlier; his mind was swarmed with more questions. Pivoting around to look at the young prince he observed the brilliant smile that graced the soft face and the swirl of darkness in soft blue eyes.

Arthur had tricked him.

Stepping eagerly into his personal space, Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's neck quietly laughing close to his ear, "You're not very good at this game, are you? Let's play something else." Merlin huffed turning his face to rest firmly against fluffy blonde hair, "I think that's enough games for today. How about I take you outside instead? I could take you to visit the stables." 

Admittedly when within the confines of his private chamber, Merlin might have admitted to himself that he spoiled Arthur. However, to inform the prince of such a thing wasn't even fathomable, it wouldn't benefit either of them in any way if he knew of his soft spot for him. Taking the young prince down to the stables was a task that could be tackled easily, ensuring that the boy would behave wasn't guaranteed.

While Arthur tentatively brushed his hand against the flank of a small foal, Merlin stood close by keeping his eyes fixed on the gentle scene. If there was an opportunity for Arthur to be able to experience life like a normal person then Merlin would ensure that he would get that chance. Uther would no doubt eventually spoil the boy to kingdom come and crowd his head with arrogance that would later remain instilled in his very being, until one day he would become a carbon copy of his father.

That outcome was what Merlin feared the most, well, beside the possibility of an early grave. 

At the age of 7, Arthur had been deemed old enough to join his father during banquets and court meetings. There wasn't much that Arthur understood that was being discussed in the meetings, often after they finished he would quiz Merlin about what had been said and quietly relish in the satisfaction of being treated like a grown up - to not have his questions be hushed and dismissed.

Even as a child Arthur was aware that he had been born into a privileged life, despite the rewards that the status of royalty gave him none of it mattered if he wasn't acknowledged or praised by those that were meant to be close and to care for him. At least that is what Merlin thought and if he found himself later in life to be correct in his assumptions then he would gladly pat himself on the back. 

Smiling at members of the court would make the grown ups feel good, it felt good to be noticed, that was something that Arthur could relate to and yet it was different. Those grown ups felt something similar to him when they were noticed and it wasn't appealing to him, it smelt bad.

Their feelings would drift across his senses, irritating his skin with their wrongness and strange thoughts which whispered of greed and growth of power and wealth. None of them preformed anything for genuine reasoning, their actions were carried out with the intention of using him - to use his status for their own gain. 

If it was inevitable for them to use him to climb higher up in the ranks of the court then he too would use them. Sat beside his father he would do all that was required of him and bask in the minimal praise he would receive, in truth he felt quite bored during those moments. Unlike in the privacy of his chambers he couldn't be himself, Merlin had advised strongly that he refrain from his usual habits. The kind of behavior that nobody else in the castle - not even Merlin could mimic.

Ever since he could remember he had always been able to shift his body into different shapes ranging from subtle to drastic changes; his eyes could shimmer with darkness like gleaming black pearls if he wanted them to do so. Merlin was the only person that knew about his unique abilities and he hadn't told a soul about them, Arthur deemed it best to follow his example. 

Arthur never felt uncomfortable about using his strange abilities in front of his caretaker, whether it was his eyes or if he made his shoulders appear freakishly crooked - never once did any of it seem to spike a self conscious thought. He trusted Merlin - liked him, appreciated his kindness and adored his company. They were friends as far as he was concerned and friends looked after each other, he would never tell his father or the court about the _strange things_ that Merlin made happen. 

"Merlin, do you think I could be a horse like this one?" Looking over at the face of his caretaker, Arthur watched the quiet brooding man consider his question. 

Lifting a hand to rub across his face, he shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe. But uh not here, too many people are around." He watched Arthurs face drop to watch the small foal preening under the attention it was receiving from the gentle scratching of the his fingers.

Later in the evening, Merlin had managed to bundle Arthur into bed dressed in his nightwear and recently fed. The boys eyes had already begun to droop as he protested against going to sleep, in one hand he had grasped the duvet and in the other he clutched Merlin by the sleeve. Smiling with fondness evident on his face, Merlin used his free hand to brush soft blonde locks of hair away from Arthurs eyes that swirled with inky blotches, he sighed and leaned towards the hand with what little awareness he had left. Then within the next minute his eyelids slowly closed and soft quiet breathing evened out as he travelled to the land of dreams. 

Rescuing his captured sleeve from Arthurs clutches proved to be a little challenging, once he managed to escape he noticed that the small brow of the prince had creased. After waiting a moment to make sure that he would stay asleep, Merlin quietly made his way off the bed and left the room, the two guards who stood outside the door gave him a polite nod of acknowledgment. Feeling confident in leaving for his own private chamber, he swiftly went on his way unaware of the nightmare that would wake Arthur up kicking and screaming for him in approximately 4 hours time.   
  


When he found himself in front of the princes’ bedroom once more, he hoped that the guards would have managed to sort him out. It was only upon entering that he discovered he wasn’t in luck, Arthur sat up straight against the headboard of the bed his whole body shivering. The guards made an attempt to approach, slowly closing the distance between them and the bed with their hands raised to express that they meant no harm, not that the gesture mattered as no sooner had they took two steps forward Arthur began to squirm and hiss like a wild animal. The noise came from the back of his throat with its pitch rotating from high to low and most certainly not the sound anyone would expect to hear, the guards each took a step back startled by the sudden outburst, one man appeared to reach for his own neck and shared a concerned look with his companion. 

With an alarming twist of movement, small body contorting inappropriately, Arthur fixed his attention on Merlin, alerting the men of his presence in the process, not that Merlin had been intending to hide his presence. Arthur stared bearing a guarded expression, it could have been considered a strange sign of defiance if it wasn't so unnerving, anyone would agree that being under scrutiny would cause any claiming to have the thickest skin to feel uncomfortable. Over a few minutes of silence his face had gradually begun to scrunch up, with one loud wail Arthur sliced through the silence crying out with sudden anguish. His eyes swirling with darkness, no soul could be seen behind those dark eyes, slowly as so to not startle him Merlin cautiously began to close in.

The guards appeared unsettled, shifting on their feet with an unexplainable sense of impatience. It must have felt to them as though some ancient instinct compelled them to take action - to defend or to attack? - their loyalty to the king and the prince they serve and their suspicions clashed together resulting in their inability to make a helpful judgement as to what to do with themselves. As long as they didn't harm Arthur or dare mention any strange glimpses they may have seen then everything would be fine.

Upon reaching the foot of the bed Arthur had by that time managed to crawl over to meet him. The young boy sounded like a wounded animal as he began to cry anew stretching his arms out wide grasping the fabric of Merlin's shirt with _long, thin,_ nimble hands.   
  
Comforting a distressed child wasn’t a job that anybody enjoyed, there wasn't anything remotely rewarding about it other than getting them to shush. Privately Merlin prayed for that moment to happen soon rather than for it to occur hours later when the sun would be in the sky. The two guards exchanged uncertain looks with one another, they both most likely felt aimless as to what to do, with a flick of his hand Merlin gestured for them to leave. They stared at him for a moment their expressions grim and worried their lips, then without another moment longer they took their leave, briskly closing the doors behind them.

Their absence didn’t escape Arthur’s notice as no sooner had they left his cries noticeably grew quiet. With gentle hands Merlin moved the boy far enough away to look at his face, it was pink from the strain of crying and wet with tears. In the dim light Arthur’s eyes had without a doubt taken their ghastly form, it wasn't a detail easily missed. It was startling to see on such a young face, an ordinary person could only think of a few things that it could possibly mean.

His thoughts lingered on the guards, his worry only grew the more he considered the situation. What if they noticed and that was the reason behind their strange behavior? What if they had been on the cusp of telling him something strange that they had witnessed concerning Arthur and ultimately decided against it, there was a possibility that they hadn't noticed anything amiss or perhaps they and immediately had their intentions set on informing the king.

If that was true then it didn’t bode well for the boy, it wouldn’t end well for Merlin either of he didn’t say the right thing if questioned. On one hand if he was questioned by Uther or the guards about Arthur then he should tell them as little as possible, but on the other he couldn’t lie to the king - so he would need to admit knowledge of Arthur’s abnormalities. In other words, be selectively honest and don’t ramble. Taking a few minutes to arrange his thoughts, Merlin released a sigh “Did you have a bad dream?” A quiet sniffle and a faint nod were his only responses.

What struck him as odd was that despite having been crying his lungs out minutes ago, Arthur’s expression was indecipherable. The cold depths of his eyes only added to the effect, it was admittedly rather creepy. 

Hours later once Arthur had managed to fall asleep, Merlin put away the bundle of soiled cloth in the weaved washing basket in the corner of the room. Nobody would hear of the night the prince wet himself during a bad dream, that was a story which Merlin would keep under lock and key until a day would arrive when he could smugly use it as blackmail. He took one last look at the sleeping prince, a slight frown on the boyish face, with a soft smile Merlin turned and left the room.

When he joined the people of Camelot in the world of dreams he dreamt - as he did most nights - of Ealdor. The farming plots and the small huts filled with the people who he had grown up with; his mother Hunith would always be a presence in his dreams, always there to bring him close for a warm hug and to tell him what a good son he was, then of course there was his bestfriend Will, ever the trickster and always the one to start fights in their little village that they had called their home.

Merlin could never return to that quaint, little place. Dreaming was the only means of ever being in Ealdor again, and it was in his dreams that the Ealdor he had loved would forever stay. 

When he woke up hours later it was to a very flabbergasted Gaius, arms crossed and eyebrows drawn up. After a surprisingly light scolding for having accidently slept in, therefore neglecting the princes morning routine, Merlin got up and hastily dressed.

Just as he was tugging on his left boot Gaius told him something rather peculiar, "Not that your sleeping in will earn you a day in the stocks today. Guinevere informed me earlier this morning that Uther has called for prince Arthurs presence, she mentioned something about it involving the court. It is most probably a court meeting, which is nothing out of the ordinary, apart from the fact they got someone else to dress the child." Merlin thought over what he had heard for a long moment, hands frozen in place around his boot which hung halfway off his foot.

Gaius looked at him curiously most likely mulling over if it was wise to say something or not, Merlin beat him to it "That's not what I was expecting to hear. Are there anymore surprises today?" With both his foots firmly on his feet he stood up from the bed facing the elderly man with a wide smile.

Gaius shook his head with a fond smile forming on his lips "Yes, actually. I was told to inform you that you had the day off, however don't rejoice yet Merlin! I've been needing someone to clean the leech tank..." The rest of the morning was filled with a lot of scrubbing, complaining and the removal of leeches from Merlin's arms and hands. Despite being made to clean the disgusting tank the day was a breath of fresh air compared to what he was used to dealing with, then again he would prefer a day watching over Arthur than cleaning leech tanks any day. 

The afternoon proved to be rather uneventful, lounging around in an open field proved to be less appealing than Merlin remembered. The breeze felt lovely, blades of grass tickled his skin and the sky was a pleasant blue with spotted white clouds. The weather happened to be perfect and he knew that he should soak up as much peace and quiet as he could, before he returned to the castle to look after Arthur, but something within his mind wouldn't allow him to fully relax. His thoughts remained on what Gaius had told him earlier and the occurrence the other night. A strange tingling sensation could be felt at the back of his head, like a warning. Most likely warning him that his head had been laying against the ground for too long. 

It was the late afternoon when he ambled through Camelot passing the townspeople and their stalls, the streets of Camelot were quite different from the simple pathways of Ealdor. It was with that thought in his mind when he accidently stumbled into a tall man dressed a bit too nicely to be one of the townsfolk. His eyes scaled over Merlin carefully taking in his overall appearance before deciding whether or not to use his voice. Their hair was dark, tied up in a bun so that it kept out of the way of their face. Deep worry lines were set in his face, and his shrewd dark eyes told tales of unspeakable loss, Merlin felt a small amount of pity form for the man. 

"Excuse me, _sir_ , would you be _so_ kind, as to tell me where I can find a kingdom known as Camelot? I was told it wasn't far off from Ealdor, however, I am afraid I _may_ have caused my companion and I to become lost. If you grant me an honest answer and decent directions, I might forgive your lack of manners." Merlin wrinkled his nose squinting up at him as they spoke, a small frown crossed his brow, "What companion? I don't see anyone travelling with you." His response was bordering impoliteness and Merlin was more than aware of that, if only he cared a little more about his body, wounds took time to heal and it wasn't as though death was an available outcome for him. The stranger came across as being standoffish, a little on the cold side and irritant, fatigue most probably influenced their behaviour. "I am not travelling alone. My companion," he pointed at the stall across from them where a lone boy stood admiring various trinkets carved out of wood, dropping his arm the stranger fixed his intent stare back on Merlin "is over there, _now_ , will you answer my question? Our journey has been long and difficult, for many reasons, it is important that we have an audience with the king of Camelot." It was evident that the matter at hand was urgent, Merlin couldn't help but contemplate what their business with Uther happened to be, would it be enough to distract them from any unsusualities that Arthur had expressed? 

"Well, lucky for you, sir, you've arrived to your destination. I'm the caretaker to Prince Arthur, if you follow me then I can try grant you an audience with the king. What are your names? If I'm going to ask for an audience on your behalf, then I'm going to need a name at least." The man pursed his lips contemplating whether to comply or not, occasionally he would glance over at the boy by the stall and his facial expression mellowed out, without looking away from the back of his companion he said "He is the only son of Lord Eyron, his late father was as I recall a dear friend of the king during their youth. The matter at hand is most urgent." The stranger entertained Merlin with his companions parentage, it was only natural for someone that was of a higher status to avoid revealing their identities, or perhaps they believed their status _is_ their identity.

After herding Lord Eyron's son away from the stall they entered the castle, the three of them walked with conviction towards the throne room. Servants went about their buisness as usual sparing them curious glances, amongst small groups there were whispers and the pattern followed them through the castle. Once stood outside the great hall, Merlin stepped forward and asked for an audience, "Let the king know that Lord Eyron's son wishes for an audience." Showing the guards an enthusiastic thumbs up smiling widely at them, it took a little bit of influencing on Merlin's part to convince the to inform the king of their request. In the meantime while they waited outside the dark daunting doors, the Lord's son anxiously fidgeted with their hands, judging from their behaviour so far Merlin for the moment considered them to be reserved, not that keeping to oneself was a bad thing, well, it could be if they didn't go out much he supposed and he didn't think that there was much that a Lord's son couldn't do. The guards soon reappeared informing them that their request for an audience had been granted, Merlin led their guests through the entry way of the throne room, the guards eyes followed them closely as they entered. 

Uther sat on his throne appearing as regal and arrogant as a traditional king, Gauis stood nearby with his expression unreadable, guarded and cold. A sense of suspense hung in the air, tension plagued the heavy heads of the court and the chandelier rattled as the doors closed behind the three of them. Together, with Merlin leading them they approached the throne, bowing their heads as a sign of respect, the stranger took a step forward placing a hand over their heart, Merlin took the opportunity to step aside. "Your Majesty, forgive us for intruding on you so suddenly, we have traveled far and the journey has been harsh. I am the manservant, or at least I _was_ the manservant, of the late Lord Eyron. I bring _grave news_ and an orphan to your kingdom, Lord Eyron and his castle stand tall no longer, Cenred's soldiers came in the night and there was little we could do to stop them. I do not understand _why_ Cenred sent his men to purge his lordship from the world of the living, however, before he was captured he asked for his only son to be taken to your kingdom, his _dying wish_ was for his heir to be under your care, Your Majesty." Merlin kept his expression carefully bland as Lord Eyron's manservant spoke, the information brewed a sense of pity and sadness for the boy who stood silently behind the man, he had not spoken a single word to either of them during the time it took for them to arrive in the throne room. Uther appeared taken aback by the news; his shoulders hunched as though spasming from the immediate tension that the grave news sprung on him. 

"This is indeed terrible news. I assure you that this fatal attack on Lord Eyron will not be overlooked, we will address the situation at hand to Cenred as soon as possible. Lord Eyron is an old friend of mine, a wise man whose kindness has not been forgotten by me, even after many years. Tell me of your name." Uther spoke with unsurprising confidence occasionally pausing for brief moments, that was the only other indication of any grief that was been coursing through him. The manservant bowed his head respectfully once more; his hand remained placed over his heart, Merlin considered their mannerisms to be very polite, it was too early make a confident judgement of the mans character. "My name is Barnett, Your Majesty." Uther smiled thinly giving them a nod of acknowledgement, "If you are in need of a place to work, then I can assure you that you have a place here in Camelot. Before that is officially confirmed, I wish to finally be introduced to Lord Eyron's surviving son." Barnett visibly flinched, a nervous smile slipping across his lips, taking a step back he gestured for the boy to come forward to stand at the centre of attention, Merlin watched the boy hesitantly obey and was reminded oddly enough of Arthur. The comparison that he drew between the boys emphasised the aching sympathy which he harboured for him. The reminder of Arthur caused the worry that had been building earlier to return, it took a surprising amount of restraint not to openly express his emotions on his face. 

The boy had long knotted dark blonde hair and was dressed in a long dirty torn nightgown, Merlin understood the boys hesitation, not only was he meeting a king; he was meeting him while appearing very disheveled and not at all like the noble he was considered to be. Uther looked him over curiously, an almost whimsical expression blossomed across his face and inclined his head to the boy ever so slightly, it surprised many in the room but none dared to overly express their surprise at the king's display of respect, personal respect that he held towards a boy he had just met. "My Father named me Leonardis, on the _other_ hand my Mother named me Leon. I would appreciate it if I could be referred to by the same name that my _Mother_ called me." The boy, Leon, introduced himself politely, albeit awkwardly, Uther pursed his lips "It is a pleasure to finally meet you Leon, I had a close friendship with your father in my youth, he was a good man and I am confident that you will make him proud. From this day forth I will be taking Leonardis Eyron as my ward, Barnett shall be his manservant and caretaker." The court irrupted with a flutter of murmurings and enthusiastic applause, Merlin joined in clapping his hands mulling over the turn of events.

The court slowly filed out of the room nodding respectfully at Leon as they took their leave, Gaius remained where he stood with a pensive expression, once almost all the members of the court had left the room Merlin intended to follow them out "A moment, Merlin. His Majesty wishes to speak with you about an important matter, it is most urgent." Gauis called out in a calm voice, there was no inflection that gave away any hint of worry, but he assumed that was the intention. "Gaius, please escort Leon and his manservant to a suitable room for the boy to use. I shall speak with you later this evening, Leon. In the meantime, I advise you bathe, we will find something more suitable to wear." Uther smiled gently as the two bowed their heads respectfully and followed Gaius out of the throne room, which left Merlin alone with Uther. 

With nobody else around the atmosphere in the room transformed, there was no lingering sense of worry, instead something much more disturbing took its place. Merlin could not describe for the life of him what he felt exactly, only that whatever it was did not bode well and his thoughts immediately returned to Arthurs absence. Uther's expression transformed from whimsical to a stormy expression and his hands clenched around the arms of his throne, Merlin was confident that the conversation was indeed not going to bode well at all. "I trust you are wondering why I have asked to speak with you? Although, I am sure that you must be aware of what I am about to discuss with you. Last night, guards outside Arthur's chambers reported that he communicated very strange behaviour, they stated that he was unconsolable, until you arrived to soothe him. I find their report extremely concerning, after gathering further information and various statements I have come to a conclusion." Merlin swallowed audibly his palms were beginning to feel damp.

Uther did not speak for a few minutes whether out of a need to compose himself or for dramatic effect he was not certain, there was no denying that the glimpse of pain in Uther's eyes was genuine, it was _odd_ how a man like Uther Pendragon could feel emotions, such as sadness and _pain_ \- especially since it was him that orchestrated The Great Purge, _killing thousands of innocent people_.

"The court and I have concluded that Arthur is _unwell_ ; his mind is unhinged by the _evil_ that has always corrupted the people of Camelot. The oddities of his behaviour has disturbed and aroused suspicion from many, I can no longer turn away from the truth. Arthur has been cursed, _bewitched_ and led astray! The only way to save him is through _God_ , I have discussed with the church about what the correct action to take would be and they have convinced me that in order, to save Arthur, they must purge the _sorcery_ from him." Emotion rippled through Uther's voice, Merlin could almost not believe what he had heard 'Purge?' Uther stood up taking a step towards him.

"This is the only way to salvage him from the darkness and bring him back to the light. It troubles me to put my son through such an ordeal, but for the safety of all in Camelot I must do what is best for the kingdom. For the time being you will keep Arthur's chambers clean and help Gaius with errands, this will last until Arthur has been brought back to the light. When he returns, it is important that you keep a close watch over him, be sure to focus on his recovery. Now, go see if Gaius needs any assistance." Merlin nodded mutely, turning around and strode out of the throne room and as far away from Uther as he could. Merlin could not believe what he had been told, Arthur had been gone since the morning and while he had tried to reason with himself that Arthur was fine - now he felt something that was beyond the capability of words to describe.

There had to be something that he could do - there had to be! Every idea that he came up with was quickly thwarted by logic and error. It was with sinking anguish that he realised there was nothing that he could do, the most powerful sorcerer in existence could not save a child and he wouldn't reveal his identity to save him, it would be rash and would doom the future of Camelot that Merlin so desperately wanted for those that used magic - for the druids, who hid in seclusion out of fear of being persecuted. To preserve the possibility of a brighter future - for the right to live as himself and for others to be granted the same liberty, he could not reveal himself and there was no other way to prevent what Arthur was going to experience.

For the first time in 7 years tears blurred Merlin's vision. What was it that he told Arthur the night of The Great Purge?

'Don't worry, Arthur. I will protect you.' He wanted to laugh until he cried, he promised that he would protect Arthur! He hadn't been careful or intelligent enough to protect him from the minuscule mindsets and ignorance of others. Merlin knew first hand what ' _normal people_ ' did to those that didn't conform to societies expectations and rules of thumb 'They tear you down and take away everything that meant anything to you - individuality, objects, beliefs or people. They hide behind their veiled excuses in order to eliminate anything that is different, anything that is different - or 'strange' and they continue to do so until there is nothing except insecurity and pain left in their wake.' Merlin walked through the passageways feeling his heart ache mournfully, tears fell down his face without care for who noticed them. It didn't matter if others mocked him for crying, they could belittle him with all the undermining names they knew of but it would not hurt his feelings, they wouldn't scratch his heart. There was nothing that they could do or say that could upset him.

His failure to protect the boy he had grown oh so steadily fond of had devastated him. 

The room the maiden had taken Arthur was terribly dark, where there should have been windows there was damp brickwork and a single grimy stone bench in the furtherest corner. She instructed him to wait paitently for his father to arrive and he complied, it had been disappointing to wake up to someone else there to dress and feed him, they explained that Merlin had been preoccupied with an important errand. Arthur sulked for most of the morning, Merlin hadn't told him about going away and most certainly not about having something else to do - something that _apparently_ was more _important_ than playing with Arthur like he usually did every morning. The maiden wasn't fun like his caretaker, if anything she was boring and refused to play with him after he had finished his breakfast - _very boring_. Instead she had taken him outside and brought him down a strange set of stairs that were heavily guarded and left him inside one of the windowless rooms; she was the most boring and strangest person ever. Arthur decided the moment she left him alone that once his father arrived he would demand that Merlin return immediately! Luckily he did not need to wait for too long, a few minutes is all it took for his father to make his appearance; he bowed his head just as he had been taught and waited for his father to give his approval. It didn't make sense to Arthur why he had to bow his head and he didn't ask for the reason behind the action, he understood that his father did not like being questioned, so he left all his questions up to Merlin to answer. 

"Arthur," Uther expressed his approval with a brisk nod; he drew close to Arthur taking him gently by the shoulders and peered at his face. It was a little funny of his father looking at him so closely and confusing "You know that I care for you, don't you?" Two men dressed in strange tunics entered through the iron door carrying a heavy looking chair in-between them, one of them had some rope fastened to their belt - what were they doing bringing a chair with them? Didn't they know it was a little strange to carry rope around? " _Arthur!_ Listen to me when I am speaking to you. Do you _understand?_ You know how much I care for you?" Arthur made a noise of surprise when his father shook him, staring at him so intently while saying weird things. He didn't understand what was happening; he just wanted Merlin to come back. In order to appease his father he nodded vigorously until his head hurt, if he didn't ask unnecessary questions and listened to his father and answered what was asked of him then he wouldn't be scolded for misbehaving. 

Uther swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at his son, there was so much of Ygraine in him. It was his responsibility to protect the kingdom from the corruption of sorcery, there was nobody else that would fight against the abnormalities that those walking along the narrow path harnessed. Magic is what took Ygraine from him. It is magic that threatens to corrupt their son and it is his responsibility to save him. The darkness within their child would be purged and Camelot would be saved once more. 

The strange men had set the chair in the middle of the room with the rope unravelled between them, Arthur quickly decided that he didn't want to remain in the windowless room anymore. "We're ready, Sire." Arthur gawped at the men watching as his father released his hold on his shoulder, it became apparent to him that something unusual was happening when the men restrained his arms awkwardly behind his back. Crying out for help as he tried to fight against them, he tried to contort his arms in an attempt to wriggle out of their grasp, it was something that he had been practicing during his alone time. Bones clicked and cracked against each other shifting out of place, skin rippling in protest against the stretching and twisting of skin and his muscles cramped in protest as the men tightened their grasp refusing to release him, it was one single word that got him to stop struggling. 

" _Enough!_ " Uther's voice boomed bouncing off the walls like a crack of lightning, his face was tinted red with anger and his shoulder were tense. Tears welled up in Arthur's eyes as he allowed the strangers to sit him down on the chair and tie him to it using the rope. The maiden from before returned with a bag in tow passing it to one of the men and left as quickly as she arrived, Uther knew what needed to be done in order to save Arthur. He had given his consent for them to use their methods and threatened that if even after preforming them his son was still corrupted by sorcery then they would face grave consequences, they had given him their word that Arthur would be brought back to the light.

Taking one last look at his son tied to the chair with his face frozen with a look of disbelief and fear, Uther had never seen Arthur make such an expressive expression before "One day, you will thank me for this."

The second man rummaged through the bag, eventually pulling out a dagger that glinted in the dim light of the flickering torch on the wall and an innocent candle. Once Arthur noticed the weapon in his hand he turned his gaze frantically back to his father, he shook in his bindings and his body shook in fear "Father, please, what have I done? I'll be good - I promise I will be good! Please let me go, _I'm scared!_ " Arthur's voice cracked as he choked out words between heavy sobs, cheeks damp with tears and pink from stress; he didn't understand why his father was doing this to him and he didn't know what he had done to deserve such treatment.

Uther didn't respond, _turning his back_ to his distressed son with a sense of finality and denial. Arthur's lips trembled and his teeth chattered as he watched his father abandon him, the door promptly slamming behind him. 

"What have I done!?" Arthur trembled violently - whether out of anger or fear he wasn't sure, most likely the answer was both.

The men crowded close grabbing him with their hands, around the curve of his shoulder and snatched at the roots of his hair, tugging at his tunic and whacked at his chest - no matter how much he cried they were relentless. Arthur flinched at the reappearance of the dagger "This is going to _save_ you. If you endure this pain and allow the darkness to be banished then you will be saved! Sorcery is the work of evil and we seek to drive it from you. Your father _loves_ you greatly, we are his humble servants and we answer to the call of God. On this day your soul shall be salvaged." Arthur watched with wide dark eyes as they brought the dagger close to his hand turning it over so the blade faced the palm.

He could hear his heart beating rapidly in his ears - _Thump, Badum, Thump_ \- His father had _abandoned_ him, allowed him to be subjected to the mistreatment of strangers in a dark damp room, Arthur wanted it to be a bad dream, he wanted to wake up. 

He wanted Merlin to come save him, he wanted Merlin to come _home_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found it a bit difficult to write after not being able to get an update out in a while, ideas were a bit stunted! I'd appreciate hearing from you guys about this chapter. I am sorry I have been gone for so long, I feel very guilty about that. Despite all the negativity it is good to try be positive, it is so hard to function when everything is so bad. Make sure you're all taking care of yourselves alright! - Galaxy_angst

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this and leave a comment to let me know what you all thought! This will last until Arthur is an adult and decides to pull moves on Merlin, there may be smut or there might not be. I have another Merlin fic, it is a group chat fic with them all in college, Merlin/Gwaine is a ship and so is Gwen/Arthur but Arthur does have a secret thing for Merlin. I am working on the third chapter for it atm so if you want you can give that a look, have a good apocalypse - Sirius xx


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